Lamport

Lamport
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21st Chief Justice of the United States
In office July 18, 2019 – January 18, 2021
Nominated by	LOTR
Preceded by	Jet
Succeeded by	Thanos
50th President of the United States
In office March 3, 2019 – July 12, 2019
Vice President	Patty
Preceded by	Politophile
Succeeded by	LOTR
79th Secretary of the Treasury
In office November 26, 2018 – March 3, 2019
Nominated by	Politophile
Preceded by	ComHack
Succeeded by	Jeb
Senator from the North
In office October 31, 2018 – March 3, 2019
Preceded by	NotAName
Succeeded by	Justin
6th Chairman of the Republican Party
In office September 11, 2018 – January 6, 2019
Preceded by	Ronald Reagan II
Succeeded by	LOTR
59th Speaker of the House
In office August 31, 2018 – October 31, 2018
Preceded by	Butterlands
Succeeded by	Peanut
Representative from the North’s At Large Congressional District
In office July 28, 2018 – October 31, 2018 Serving with Meatduck, Mike, Micka and Trump

Lamport is a retired Northern politician and jurist in the United States. He was a committed Republican on the libertarian wing of the party. Soon after being elected Chairman, he re-aligned the party and conservative movement at large in a libertarian direction and established a political consensus that would define federal politics over some 22 months and 11 sessions of Congress. After serving 12 months in elected office, from the House to the Presidency, Lamport was nominated and confirmed as Chief Justice of the United States, becoming the first politician to head to legislative, executive and judicial branch of government. By some, he is called “the late emancipator,” on account of his leadership to abolish the income tax, end 18 years of perpetual war and pass multiple landmark constitutional amendments on civil rights. To those who give a less positive assessment, on the other hand, his Administration represented a dangerous and unprecedented reduction in the size and scope of the federal government and the military power it can project abroad. His tenure on the Supreme Court is regarded as originalist, skeptical of federal power and distinguished by willingness to challenge long-held precedent.

Philosophy

Lamport and his political thinking are characterized by social liberalism, economic conservatism, civil libertarianism, foreign non-interventionism, federalism (almost to the point of localism) and Georgism. As a Georgist, he is dedicated to a single tax in which land value, and only land value, is taxed. In pursuit of this goal, as President, Lamport cut $300 billion in spending, abolished the income, estate, gift and land appreciation tax and implemented a land value tax. While he would reduce the corporate tax rate during his term, a single tax would be achieved a year later by Governor and President Valerie, his Chief of Staff, first in Jefferson and then in the United States. His commitment to non-interventionism planted the seeds of an anti-imperialist and anti-war movement in the United States that saw the United States withdraw from the Middle East and leave the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. In a broad sense, the economic policy Lamport promoted was followed by successive Administrations, left and right, and represented a political consensus between March, 2019 and October, 2020. Many consider it "broken" in December, 22 months later, when a $560 billion deficit was signed into law during the coronavirus pandemic.

Party

Lamport was first elected to the Republican National Committee in August, 2018, while serving in the House of Representatives. When Ronald Reagan II retired in September, he was elected Chairman and acclaimed to a second term in November. His first act as Chairman was to end the Republican-Progressive coalition. The electoral success of the party is credited by some to his decision to focus on economic and foreign policy and support, rather than oppose, more progressive social policy like gay marriage and criminal justice reform. Having achieved the first Republican majority in the federal government, Lamport decided against seeking a third term. He was succeeded by Vice Chairman LOTR in January, 2019. Lamport was soon awarded an honorary seat on the National Committee, held until his nomination and confirmation to the Supreme Court in July, when he resigned his membership of the party to signal and guarantee his independence on the bench.

Congress

Lamport was sent to the House of Representatives in a special election in July, 2018, at the middle point of the term. He first gained national attention by leading a strong opposition to a budget which reported a deficit. Lamport and Speaker Butterlands, a Progressive, formed a multi-partisan coalition in favor of responsible spending and they were successful in their campaign to amend the bill and, instead, pass the first balanced budget in 17 years.

Re-elected in August, despite leading the Republican minority, Lamport was unanimously elected Speaker. During his second term in the House of Representatives, he passed legislation to repeal the death penalty, ban the draft, end the mandate to print money to balance the budget and assert the constitutional duty of the legislature, rather than the executive, to declare war. Over the next 18 months, between October, 2018 and April, 2020, he was the only Speaker to serve a whole term: this peculiarity is called the Lamport curse. During the same period, he won a major victory in the Supreme Court against the attempt by Governor Indy to nationalize all private business in the state. He was successful and the New Democratic Business Free Market Stimulus Act was struck down as a violation of the takings clause.

Lamport was nominated to run against Senator NotAName in October and won with 53% of the vote. In the Senate, he passed legislation to re-enfranchise more than 6 million felons on the completion of their sentence or parole, repeal the tip tax, abolish civil forfeiture, recognize territorial self-determination, close the base in Guantanamo Bay, prohibit the last constitutional vestige of slavery, as punishment for crime, and guarantee the right of habeas corpus without the possibility of suspension by the state. While his power, and the power of the Republican minority, were limited in theory, he was instrumental in taking down radical Progressive legislation like the $3 trillion "Medicare for All" package which had already passed the House. When Senator Apex was shot in a failed assassination plot in December, Lamport was elected Acting President pro tempore and held the gavel until his return to office.

Over the 7 months he served in Congress, in the House and Senate, Lamport voted down more than $3.2 trillion in new spending. He and Jet are widely recognized as the most prominent and formidable Senators of their political era. On his election to the Presidency, Representative Justin was appointed to succeed him in the Senate.

Cabinet

Having established a political consensus to favor a balanced budget, Lamport was nominated as Secretary of the Treasury by President Politophile and unanimously confirmed by the Senate in November, 2018. He managed the passage of the second balanced budget and planned the introduction of the land appreciation tax: this would later prove an important step in the tax reform he would achieve as President. Lamport and Attorney General Yimir took a leading role in the Cabinet, well beyond the management of their Departments, and they gave new life to an institution many believed had lost its way and become something of a sinecure.

White House

Acclaimed as the Republican nominee for President in February, 2019, Lamport campaigned against Representative Sparkle, Senator Michigan and Senator NotAName in the general election. Winning every state and more than 70% of the electoral college, he was inaugurated in March with Patty as Vice President. His Administration was noted for passing more legislation and issuing more orders and proclamations than the last three Administrations put together.

Lamport implemented a 6% land value tax, abolished the income, estate, gift and land appreciation tax, cut the corporate tax by 25% to achieve the lowest rate since 1936, reduced spending by $300 billion and began to pay down the debt for the first time in 17 years. Over and above economic policy, his Administration ended the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, withdrew more than 20,000 troops posted outside the United States, repealed the Patriot Act, abolished the Department of Homeland Security, suspended government-to-government aid to dictatorships, regulated the intelligence community and negotiated a landmark treaty with the United Kingdom, Russia, China, France, India, Pakistan and North Korea to reduce the number of nuclear weapons in the world by 50%. He also reinstated the federal parole system, banned private imprisonment, de-nationalized the rail and tele-communications sector, which had been seized by President Poke, protected national parks against exploitation and granted limited rights to apes, monkeys, elephants, whales, dolphins, octopuses and squids. He was the first elected President in 40 years, since Jimmy Carter, not subject to any attempt to impeach.

Near the end of his Presidency, he and Governor Webb were shot by a fascist group in Nashville. During the course of his treatment, amid concern he may die, the Cabinet invoked the 25th amendment and Vice President Patty served as Acting President until he could return to office the following week. While Lamport and his Administration were popular, Valeriegate saw a number of people criticize the way in which political pressure was used to secure the passage of his legislative agenda. Some called for the dismissal of his Chief of Staff, however, he resisted and later signed the bill that caused the controversy into law. It limited the open-ended nature of military authorization after the resolution passed in the wake of September 11, 2001 was deemed to allow intervention again and again over the next 17 years.

Republicans, Progressives, Communists, Populists and Independents were all represented in his Cabinet. Politophile and Jet were nominated and confirmed to the Supreme Court during his Administration. Committed to seek and serve only a single term, having accomplished each campaign promise made in the election, Lamport was succeeded as President by Senator LOTR in July, while his Vice President was re-elected to a second term. On his last day in office, he pardoned Julian Assange and de-classified an unprecedented number of UFO documents.

Supreme Court

Nominated to the Supreme Court by his successor, President LOTR, Lamport was confirmed as Chief Justice in July, 2019, with only one Senator voting against. His appointment, followed by the appointment of Associate Justice JMP, Webb and Patty, marked the beginning of an originalist majority on the bench for the first time in 80 years. Among less momentous judgements, he authored the opinions which restored corporate personhood as a legal concept, protected campaign donations by natural persons, reversed the "particular government program" exception to the origination clause, overturned the machine gun ban, declared the annexation of Hawaii in 1898 unconstitutional but affirmed its admission to the union in 1959, upheld the revocation of the North Atlantic Treaty and narrowed the interpretation of the interstate commerce clause by rebuking Darby and reviving the distinction between production and commerce in Carter. In general, while most judgements were unanimous, the Lamport Court challenged and, in some ways, openly rejected the consensus on political deference born in the wake of the New Deal.

In this role, Lamport administered the oath of office to President Patty, Michigan, Barch, Valerie, Garland, Cabin and Sandoval. He also presided over two impeachment trials: the first in February, 2020, where the President was convicted, and the second in September, where the Governor of Puerto Rico was acquitted. While irregular, Lamport was asked to preside over the Legislative Assembly of Puerto Rico because the new state had not yet established its own Supreme Court. During the 18 months he served as Chief Justice, he developed a form of original meaning theory called the Lamport proviso. Lamport retired in January, 2021 and was soon succeeded by Chief Judge Thanos.

Retirement

In retirement, Lamport divided his time between the North and Saint Thomas, one of the Virgin Islands, where he farmed sugarcane, distilled rum and drank to excess.

He penned an open letter in March, 2021, making public a secret from November, 2018, while in office as Chairman of the Republican Party. Lamport explained how he rigged an election for Vice Chairman against former Representative Fish, who had been calling for violent rebellion against the government, in favor of Senator Apex. This was accomplished by disqualifying a ballot from someone who joined during the vote, a situation not addressed by the rules. The establishment who thought him too great a risk considered themselves vindicated days later when Fish, commanding an illegal militia, sought to incite rebellion in Vermont. Closing his open letter, Lamport wrote “I did not regret my decision then and I do not regret my decision now.”

Honors

• Presidential Medal of Freedom (October, 2019)
• Congressional Gold Medal (November, 2019)
• Parliamentary Medal of Unity (August, 2020)